» Q Magazine - February 2004
  » Dorian Lynskey Interviews Dido - 2002
  » Q Magazine - August 2001
 

She has perfect teeth, thinks Eminem is charming and just loves being famous. But not everything in Dido's life smells of roses. Don't even think about getting her angry, cause "I can be a total bitch" she claims.

Photo shoot over and Dido flops onto the nearest chair, a look of blessed relief upon her face. "God! I hate being photographed now as much as I ever did," she says in an accent that is pure Michael Cain circa The Italian Job. "You'd think I'd have gotten used to it by now, but I'm sorry, I can't bloody stand it. But hey. Needs must. She smiles unprompted for the first time this evening, revealing teeth so white and orderly and perfect you begin to realise where she may have spent at least some of her amassed fortune. "Oh these?" she says, finger tapping the enamel. "All natural, I promise you. But it may come back to haunt me because I had this radical treatment on my teeth from the age of about three, this experimental new fluoride pill. So while it worked wonders - I've never had a filling, and they are always dazzling white - I'll probably die of cancer or something as a result." Well if she goes, she'll go with a fantastic smile on her face. She considers the concept for some moments. "You're right. Maybe I should have them extracted after my death and framed?" She laughs with unnecessary force. These are good times for Dido Armstrong. The best, she says, of her life. For the first time she's actually in credit with her bank, due, in no small part to the 12 million sales of her debut album No Angel, which have made her wealthy beyond her wildest dreams. Now her dreams have gone stratospheric in the past 3 months since its successor Life For Rent has shifted a further 6 million copies, making her arguably the biggest female pop star on the planet. "And I feel really good about it," she beams. "I'm more confident then I've ever been and I'm beginning to think I could do this for the rest of my life." Right now, however, she must face the Q readers inquisition, about which she is less thrilled.

"Deep breath," she tells herself. "OK. I'm ready, go!"

What's the most extravagant thing you've ever bought?
My house in Islington, I'm not going to tell you how much it cost, in case I want to sell it, but it was the most expensive thing I've ever bought by far. The house is wonderful, but it took almost a year to do up properly. I keep getting magazines wanting to come over and take photographs of it, but no way. That's my private space. The day I bought it I was really extravagant, because in addition to the house I bought a car, a Mercedes, you know the one with the hard top thing that flips up? How flash am I?

Do you have groupies?
Well, if kids standing outside my bedroom window at 8 o' clock in the morning count as groupies, then yes I've got them. It's very funny when fans ask me out after shows. I had this one guy recently who gave me a note asking if I would meet him round the corner for a pizza, I so nearly went. I thought it would be hysterical to go. It would have probably made his year. How old was he? I'd say about 15.

Is it true that you are capable of drinking most blokes under the table?
I used to be able to, back in my student days but not anymore, unfortunately. I had the most amazing capacity for drink. I could drink proper spirits - big bottles of vodka or Jack Daniels - and still function with no hangover in the morning. But now I'm hopeless; one drink and I'm beginning to feel the effects these days. These days I tend to stick to either Vodka or rum [thinks] or wine. Whatever really.

In what instances have you used your celebrity to get whatever you want?
[Smiles] Well I'm aware my name carries a certain cachet these days. You know you call up for a restaurant and ask for a table for two at eight and they immediately say no. You say O.K. but does one open up, could you give me a call. They reluctantly take your number, but as soon as they hear Dido something clicks. Ten minutes later the phone rings, and I've got a table. That's genius, isn't it?

You need to be Bridget Jones to like Dido?
That's just bullshit. It doesn't mean anything. It's just a journalistic tag-line. There aren't enough thirty something women in Britain for that to make sense. [Actually there are.] My fans are both sexes and all ages. And anyway I couldn't get through the book myself.

You were called "Dildo" through your schooldays. Are you accepting your name now? And what names do you have in mind for any children you might have?
I would never persecute my children with truly awful names, but I do think it's cool to give them funky names just not funky to the point of torture in the playground. I'm fine with Dido now but it's a very recent thing, I was slowly getting used to it as a teenager, but you kinda grow into your name don't you? But as a kid it was a total fucking nightmare, and I absolutely hated it.

Do you think you missed out, growing up without a TV in the house?
No. But I did feel a bit left out sometimes. Rollo and I tried everything. We tried to buy a TV once and we smuggles it in, but we got discovered and it was thrown out of the window. I used to go over to my mate's house a lot to watch Starsky and Hutch like everybody else. You know when I left home I watched TV solidly for about a year, but now I don't really have the patience. It's funny - I've got 5 TVs in my house and I don't watch any of them.

Are you too expensive to sing on the new Faithless tracks?
No! Of course not! In fact I'm trying to muscle my way in on their new album - and no, I'm not going to be charging them anything. My success has helped all of us together. It's brought us even closer, like a big family.

You look like you don't enjoy being famous, why not?
Oh I absolutely love being a star! I'm having the time of my life. I just don't feel the need to advertise it all the time. I've maintained complete control over my life, although I could of course lose it all in an instant. All I'd have to do is date a famous actor or something, but I'm not about to do that. My life has remained completely normal. I walk, I ride my bike, take the bus, and I never get any hassle. Also I've learned how to say "Fuck off, it's none of your business," and that has stood me in a very good stead. So being famous is great, I love it.

Do people ever come up to you and tell you they hate your music?
No, not yet but I was coming out of blockbusters the other day and there was this little kid on the street. He saw me, pointed to his mate and said to his mate, "Oh my god I was just slagging her off and there she is!" I so wanted to go up to him and ask what the fuck he said about me, but he looked so shell-shocked that I decided to spare him. I really wouldn't like it if people told me they hated my music. I'd rather they just didn't listen to it in the 1st place.

What's with your new glamorous look? Have you been told to smarten up?
What glamorous look? These jeans and a T-shirt? I don't dress glamorously; although I did wear a dress for the White Flag video. I do like to dress up on occasion but I dress to be comfortable. No one has ever told me to smarten, they wouldn't dare.

It has been reported that you claimed that you "shagged to Nirvana". Could you please specify which album?
I never said I shagged to Nirvana, but that is still a genius question! I would undoubtedly rather shag to Nirvana then my music, though. No album in particular but I think the track Come As You Are would be suitable.

If you could be in any band which band would you be in?
Slipknot, as nobody would know who I am. I'd be hiding behind a mask. I reckon it'd be fun to be in Slipknot, don't you? The mask thing is cool. What are they like as people? [Listens to an explanation of Slipknot's personality disorders.] Oh well maybe not Slipknot. I have to say, I'm not particularly drawn to their kind of music, I just like the idea of having a mask and not wearing make-up all the time.

Do you fight with your brother about who's most popular?
Absolutely not; never. Rollo would not want any part of my life whatsoever. He would hate to be famous, which is why even though he is in faithless, nobody knows what he looks like, he loves being in the studio; that's his thing. He loves me being famous though. It's given him a permanent massive grin and no he's not jealous of me financially either, because look at how many records he has a hand in. He's doing very well indeed.

Who is your favourite arsenal player, and do you get to see a lot of games?
Thierry Henry, because I love players with flair. I used to love Ian Wright as well. They're both so exiting to watch. And yes I do get to see a lot of games; my schedule has worked out really well this season, purely by luck. I'm up in the North West stand most home games and I'm a season ticket holder.

Does it bother you that people see you as the Queen of Nice?
I don't think I am the Queen of Nice, but you know what? I don't think there's anything wrong with being it, either. I'd rather be the Queen of Nice then a total bitch. Wouldn't you? I'm proud of the fact that I can stay happy and be nice to people and not become some kind of wanker.

In your last Q interview you said that you'd caught your ex-boyfriend downloading porn on the internet. Is that why you split up?
That's genius, but it's also bullshit, because I never said it. Doesn't everybody download porn? Isn't that what the internet is for? One of my friends, when they went online, typed in "naked Dido" and up came about 3000 sites! I've not checked it out myself but I have seen my head grafted on to a naked body in the daily sport. That was… interesting. But no, I didn't split up with Bob because of porn. Our split was more to do with turning 30 and realising you'd spent your whole 20's together and then… and then changing.

You used to work as a waitress. Did you ever spit in the food of a customer who had upset you?
No. But I'm sure I did other stuff. I do remember having the odd fight with a piece of fish every now and then, and then picking it up and serving it. And I do have a vague memory of doing something awful to our manager's food one time. He was a horrible, really mean bastard and he always made us cook his lunch. So he had it coming basically. I never took shit as a waitress either. If a customer dealt it out I gave it right back to them. I hate rudeness.

Were there any attractions between you and Eminem during the filming of Stan?
No attraction, no but I do think he's very cute, and he's one of the most charismatic and charming people I have ever met in the industry. He hasn't got to where he is today without charm.

Who would you rather snog onstage: Britney or Madonna?
Fuck! What a horrible choice! Probably Madonna as she's older. Britney is too young for me. I just don't want to snog a young girl - that's just weird, disgusting.

What the hell was that transatlantic album launch about? And will you ever join the mile high club?
I'm not a member of the mile high club, yet, but I'm hopeful about becoming one. I've been travelling around a lot in private jets recently, which makes it easier and more appealing. The album launch was wicked, insane, completely chaotic and great fun. I went to bed that night feeling like a princess, a superstar.

Will you ever go rock?
Who knows? At home I scream songs all the time, really aggressive songs, that just haven't made it onto record yet. Will they one day? Perhaps. Never say never. I may change my style radically. I may join Slipknot. Watch this space.
 

"I'm Every Woman"
She's sold millions of albums,
yet you might have sat next to Dido in the pub and never known.
How has she kept such a low profile?
Dorian Lynskey finds out...

It's a hot, clammy July day in London and Dido Armstrong is sitting at her garden table recounting one of her favourite stories about fame.
I once went to a party in America and someone asked me,
"What's your name"? And I said, "Dido".
And he said, "Oh is that spelt like the singer"?
And I thought, "Jesus, this is brilliant! Someone knows your name and
your music and they haven't got a clue that it's you".

This sounds like one of those faux-humble anecdotes - let's call them Jenny-from-the-blockisms - favoured by the famous, but in this case you really could see it happening.
For a platinum-selling star, Dido radiates normality. Wearing two vests, jeans, sandals, hoop earrings, a gold wrist chain and no make-up, she looks like any quietly stylish 31-year-old.

The kitchen wall in her north-London house is covered in framed photographs. There's Dido with her friends, there's Dido with her brother and co-writer Rollo and, oh, there's Dido with Sting.
If you didn't know who Dido was you could mistake her for a well-dressed fan who'd collared the tantric one for a quick snap.

It's this everywoman quality that helped put her debut album in 12 million homes worldwide.
No Angel spent 100 weeks on the UK album charts and made her one of the only British singers about whom the USA gives a jot.

You can hold up No Angel as the epitome of all that is bland about music, but it's not Dido's fault so many record-buyers like her tender electronica-tinged love songs. And anyway, she points out, when she made No Angel she was an unknown singer-songwriter whose only claim to fame was that she'd sung with her brother's dance act, Faithless. It's hardly Pop Idol.

"That's the only thing that bemuses me", she says in her classless London accent. "How can you hear something differently just because it's sold millions of copies"?

But isn't she just a teeny bit fed up with hearing those songs by now?
"I still like them. I just don't want to listen to them day in, day out. Like anyone else in this country, ha ha".

Dido lived with No Angel for a long time. She began writing it in 1996, released it in the USA in 1999, had Thank You sampled by Eminem on his hit Stan in 2000, and launched it in Britain in 2001. When she finally stopped promoting it last year, she broke up with her fiance, entertainment lawyer Bob Page, after seven years.
She avoids going into details but the result was that she was a free agent in every sense.

So she started travelling alone, to New York, Thailand, Canada, Ireland, quite random really.
"You're really aware of your surroundings when you travel on your own. On tour there are so many people, you're just dying to get rid of them. Everyone wants to look after you - it's their job - but it can be stifling. I've always been a bit of a loner. When I was a kid I used to spend hours a day on my own. I'm quite happy like that".

She soon realised she could melt into the crowd and never be noticed. Surely she can't do that in London anymore, I suggest, but she insists she can.

"I'm trying to think if there's one thing that I cannot do and there isn't". She thinks about it. "Tube's fine. Bus is fine. Football, fine. Pubs, fine. HMV on a Saturday? Maybe not. For me the most important thing in the world is to have a life as that's the core of my songwriting. If you lock yourself away you ain't going to have anything to write about anyway. Then you start writing songs about how horrible it is being famous. Yeah, at which point shoot me. It would be awful".

Much is made of Dido's unusual London upbringing - no television! and florid full name - Dido Florian Cloud de Bounevialle Armstrong - but there is nothing flaky about her. She's level-headed and unfussy and direct. "The one crime in our house was to lie," she says. She was thus as well-equipped as anyone for the seismic changes of the past couple of years. During 2001, she earned Ј12 million. "You can't dwell on it too much," she says, sighing. "It comes with complications, like anything that gives you freedom, but I wasn't traumatised. It becomes about simplicity and whatever you need to do to have that, whether it's giving it all away or doing certain things with it, then do it."
Do your friends always expect you to get the round in at the pub?
"No. It's really funny as I'm always trying to get the round in. I went on holiday with my close girl mates last summer and they ganged up on me and wouldn't let me pay for anything."

Has she developed any prima-donnaish bad habits? "We used to joke about what we could ask for. We'd do these fake riders to see if anyone noticed. They'd get really ridiculous."
Did everyone guess it was a wind-up?
"Of course they did, because the last thing was always an elephant."
Well that gives away the gag.
"Yeah, but otherwise you'd end up with a bowl of cherries with all the stones taken out and you'd feel terrible."

In September Dido releases her second album, Life For Rent. Sonically it is not a million, or even a hundred, miles away from No Angel but while that album was full of swooning odes to her man, Life For Rent has a more treacherous landscape. Mary's In India sketches a relationship collapsing, Don't Leave Home is a study of addiction and Stoned berates a lover too numb to commit - "It's basically saying, Let me in or fuck off. It's a pretty normal girl song."

It's impossible to listen to Life For Rent without thinking of Dido's break-up with Bob Page. "Riiight," she says warily. So how directly did that influence the songs? "It's a funny thing because on the last album people would listen to the songs and they'd relate them to their own lives. Now they're listening to these songs and relating them to my life."
She leans forward, suddenly apologetic. "I'm not answering your question. Sorry. What was the question again?"

Did the split influence the songs?
"A lot of them are personal but they're not factual," she says carefully. "There's nothing on there directly about one person." But surely you realise that people will insert the names?
"No," she says, nonplussed. "I'm completely naпve. The beauty of my career is that I'm so dumb sometimes. Obviously there was sadness last year so stuff will filter through but not in the songs you'd expect. People can guess but I don't think they'll find many answers."
Are you and Bob still friends?
"Yeah, we are. It's all good. Yeah... Ha ha."

With that embarrassed laugh, Dido's frankness runs into her desire for privacy and she's silent. She protects those close to her and tells how one tabloid tried to get in to the hospital where her father (who has since recovered) was seriously ill last year.
"I don't care what anyone says about me. It's what I take on. But it's not what people around me take on."
When you're famous you have to fight for normality, lest you become megalomaniac, miserable or mad. Dido is none of these things.

"One of the habits I slipped into was thinking I had two lives. Because I had a life and then it changed so drastically I would go from the whole pop star thing on one hand and the rest of my life on the other. Then I thought, You know what? This is your life. Get over it."
And it looks like she has.
 

Dido Florian Cloud de Bounevialle Armstrong left home at 15, reckons she's "worth 15 billion pounds", guzzles painkillers and measures hotel swimming pools before she checks in. "I'm just a normal North London girl", she insists to Adrian Deevoy.

"Fucking shit, bollocks, fuck, bugger and wank." It was with these carefully chosen words that Dido Armstrong first greeted her American Public. Concluding a three song acoustic showcase in New York's Supper Club, she had strategically elected to play Thank You, the song Eminem so smartly sampled on his stalker opus Stan. Everyone, she figured, would know this one. Everyone, that was, apart from Dido. "I just went totally blank" she says, fresh perspiration prickling her pale skin as the full horror of the memory returns. "I could not for the life of me remember the opening lines. So I'm just standing there like an idiot, when all of a sudden this torrent of foul language starts coming out of my mouth. Like The Exorcist. I thought, That's it, I'm finished. The Americans are forever going to see me as English Swearing Girl. My career is officially over." She couldn't have been more wrong. Unusually, America ignored the thought-provoking outburst and responded instead by buying Dido's record by the KFC bucketload. The rest of the planet, including - albeit hesitantly - her fellow Britons, steadily followed suit. Now worldwide sales have topped the eight million mark thus making it the biggest selling debut album by any semi-bohemian, Islington-based female solo artist ever. Come Christmas, more than two million people in Britain alone will own a copy of No Angel. Fuck, as Dido would say. The sole indication that Dido might be an international recording phenomenon and not, say, a stylishly dressed temp, is to be found in the top corner of her sunglasses. The reversed Cs - what PJ O'Rourke calls "the golden ass-crack" - of Chanel suggest that the serious money might have started to roll in. "Actually, it hasn't," frowns Dido as she collects Q at the tube station in her own modest motor, a functional BMW in fashionable black. "I thought I might have got a massive cheque this month but it hasn't arrived. I'm not worried though, it's coming. I hope it is anyway, I want to buy somewhere to live." To this end, Dido is going house-hunting this afternoon, but prior to that there's the small matter of an interview with her favourite magazine ("Without wishing to sound like an arse-licker, it's true") but, more pressing, she has to buy some CDs for her mum's birthday which they'll be celebrating tonight. Hence a visit to the local HMV is the first item on today's pleasantly hectic agenda. Scanning the new releases, Dido dives in and grabs the latest Bob Dylan compilation but deliberates over the new Daft Punk. "I'm not sure my mum will like this," she frets. "Everyone reckons it's great but I was bored with it after a couple of listens." She opts instead for the Everything But The Girl remix album. "Mum loves all this stuff," she says. "She's very hip." Frustrated at not being able to bag a copy of Air's new one - not out until next Monday - she picks out Kate Bush's Whole Story collection ("The first album I ever bought"), The Beatles' 1 and Joni Mitchell's Blue. Dido is unable to remember if her mum owns a copy of the Spooks album ("She's definitely got David Gray and Coldplay"). Similarly, she's uncertain if she needs any more Stevie Wonder. Rooting through the reggae racks she decides that some vintage Lee Perry dub might be too strange even for her age-gap-busting mum. How old is she going to be, by the way? "65," breezes Dido, seeming blissfully unaware that her mother is rather more musically adventurous than the average pensioner. She pauses briefly to note that the last Faithless album has been relegated to the 2-For-Ј22 division. Led by her brother Rollo, Faithless was the band with whom Dido cut her techno teeth. Despite her own manic solo schedule, she's managed to contribute vocals to their new Outrospective LP. "But if there's on thing my mum doesn't need it's another Faithless album," smiles Dido, "although she totally loves the music. She completely loves Eminem, too," she adds as we approach the rap section. "But then she would, wouldn't she?" Were we in America right now, Dido would have been comprehensively mobbed. This is because Dido is a bona fide superstar there. She'll gladly admit that this - along with the downfall of Western civilisation - is Eminem's fault. Chances are Dido may have been relatively popular in the US as her song Here With Me was chosen as the theme tune to top teen soap Roswell High. But it was Eminem using Thank You that made Dido massive. In Britain, however, she can still go about her daily business unbothered. And that's the way she prefers it. "Selling shitloads of records but not getting hassled in a record shop seems just about perfect to me," she says. But hold on, Dido is about to be recognised. The undervalued genius behind the HMV counter studies her credit card, dramatically double takes then loudly declares, "You're Dido!" Before she can confirm or deny this potentially rash assertion he has got all High Fidelity on her ass. "Wicked," he sniffs. "Yeah. Love your brother's stuff." "What about my fucking stuff," mutters Dido good-naturedly as she crosses the street to buy a birthday card. The recognition factor is low in the Hall of Cards and a swift Gary Larson purchase is made (two apes in a ballroom dancing clinch: caption - "I said I wanted a mango") without further ego shrinkage. Marks & Spencer proves to be another safe house. Dido has decided that this would be a fine day for a picnic in Hyde Park and is calmly gathering salady supplies and fruit-based drinks in the Food Hall of the Hammersmith branch. Salmon sandwiches, baby tomatoes and pre-cubed melon head a cast of summer classics for which she insists on paying. Amusingly, she also gets Ј50 cashback because "I'm a bit short at the moment." The check-out girl, who could so easily star in one of Dido's love-lorn vignettes, doesn't bat a blue-hued eyelid. En route to the park, and perhaps this is a tactic deployed to deflect from her "jazz" driving, Dido describes her upstairs neighbour's recent wedding. The bride was near-virginal and beautiful, the service suitably moving and the food predictably dull. Nothing remarkable there. Nothing, until Dido reveals that the groom "has got to be 75 years old." Of course, "normal" is relative, as any child endowed with the name Dido Florian Cloud de Bounevialle Armstrong - and there aren't many - will testify. Dido, named after the tragic Queen of Carthage in Virgil's Aeneid, spent an unusual childhood growing up in the bohemian Barnsbury quarter of progressive '70s Islington. For reasons that still aren't entirely clear, her publisher father and poet mother allowed no visitors and no television, so Dido turned to music. By the age of nine, the precocious talent was touring Yugoslavia with a recorder orchestra. By her mid-teens she was studying at the Guildhall of Music playing piano and violin and singing with the choir at Westminster Abbey. She left home at 15 and spent her days working at a literary agency, her evenings studying law and her nights at the Mud Club and The Wag listening to bowel-bursting, head-swivelling hip hop. She also found the time to pester brother Rollo for a part-time singing job with Faithless. When he finally relented, jaws hit the floor. The little sister had a great voice and her place in the Faithless family was assured. Resting on her elbow in the shade of a young oak, Dido chats in the concentrated, clipped bursts of a particularly busy bus conductress. It is interesting to report that her nasal, classless voice bears precious little relation to the milk-seeping-through-white-silk thing she sings with. Nibbling a stuffed vine leaf, she tries to dissuade a small army of ants from invading her fruit salad while attempting to explain how a former waitress from North London came to take the music business from behind...

Is selling eight million records a blessing or a curse?
A blessing. A curse is when you get to that Alanis point where you've sold 28 million. I was thinking the other day, Am I scared of selling more albums? And I'm not. It was Alanis's choice to sell all those records and then go and make a follow up that was completely out there. I'm not saying that's shit but it's a strange thing to do. I would never do an 18-track-with-two-good-tracks album next. Maybe by the sixth album I'd have lost the plot but not yet. I write songs that I'd want to hear.

What do you make of the theory that No Angel is just some bird moaning about her bloke?
Well, I can dismiss that theory easily because I wrote all the really sweet songs and Rollo wrote all the "just some bird moaning" ones. He's the Bridget Jones of the family.

Can you see how your album appeals to the Bridget Jones post-millennium woman?
I'm not sure. Maybe. I quite enjoyed the film in a sort of "I've forgotten it already" way. I liked Colin Firth but I was completely taken in by all the things I was meant to be taken in by. I hated the book though. It irritated me after a while - nine stone three, 12 units of alcohol, all that - but I was curious to see the film just because it had done so well. It wasn't a patch on Four Weddings And A Funeral in terms of leaving the cinema with that feel-good feeling.

Why have people connected so strongly with the sentiments on the album?
I haven't the foggiest idea. I mean, I like it but what does that mean? I know that people have read a lot of their own meaning into it but that's just the way I write. I'm not Nietzsche, do you know what I mean? But you can interpret the words to mean a lot of different things so maybe that's why it has this broad appeal. God, when I was doing it I didn't think anyone apart from my friends would hear it. I didn't even have a record deal.

Could the album's success have anything to do with the fact that virtually all of the songs mention lying down?
I know. Funny, isn't it? I'm in bed in six songs. But when I was writing that album I was living in one room so I was in bed with my keyboard most of the time. I've taken out all references to me being in bed on the next record. Is it easy to assume the role of the wounded lover? Oh yeah, especially live. It's really good fun doing something like Don't Think Of Me because it's so...gay. Really bitchy. You can ham it up totally and make it all, "I'm so great and you fucked up."

Do men fancy you?
I get that vibe onstage sometimes but they never get near enough to tell me. A fan in Springfield, Missouri came up to me when I was signing autographs and said, Me and my friends are in a pizza place round the corner, if you want to come after the show. Gave me the address and everything. I almost felt like going but he was only 17. But good on him, you have to admire that kind of spunk.

Are you a looker?
I make the best of what I've got, put it that way. I'm not Madonna. She's beautiful - stunning and womanly. But I'm happy and very confident with myself and I look in the mirror and think, Yeah, cool. Although I've worked at it.

Have you secretly harboured a desire to be famous?
I've harboured a desire to be successful for a long time but I'm still not fussed about people knowing my face. Everything about fame is pretty shitty, actually. The only good bit is getting early appointments and having places open especially for you. Other than that what else has fame got to offer? People pestering you and your family and knowing about your life. I can't see anything good about fame whereas I can see loads of good things about being successful.

Now you've achieved success have you noticed people reacting to you differently?
Not my close mates because they've lived through every minute of this with me so there's been no sudden change. The thing I've noticed with people I don't know so well is that they get a bit jumpy around you. I always think, Stop because you're making me jumpy now. People always fuck up when they're scared. They're so eager to get it right, they get it wrong. I'm always like, Just chill out.

Were you an E queen during the Faithless years?
No, smoking was their thing. No-one had much interest in Class A drugs.

Did you never experiment with E?
I did and I hated it. It really didn't agree with me. I couldn't bear the loss of control. Also, I think a lot of dance music suffered because of drugs. I'd go out and think, "This music is terrible, how could people possibly be enjoying it?" Then you'd be like, "Oh, I see..." The music got so hard and so fast it was just a reaction to the drugs. It put me off clubs really. I'm pretty anti-drugs now. I've written this song for my next album called Don't Leave Home which sounds like a really obsessive love song but it's all about drug addiction. But it's the drug talking to the person saying, "I'm your best friend, just stay in here with me", and the chorus is just like this massive love song saying, "If you're cold I'll keep you warm, if you're low I'll be your safety, just hold on." It sounds like Mariah Carey but it is actually incredibly evil. If people take that at face value then they'll see it as just another soppy ballad but it's very creepy.

At Narcotics Anonymous they suggest you write a farewell letter to the drug you are addicted to. Is that where you got the idea?
No, really? I didn't even know that. I've seen a lot of my friends destroyed by addiction. Severely messed up. Depression, losing their jobs, world falling apart. I was so glad I never went down that road. If I'd really liked E, it could have been a disaster but luckily I loathed it.

When were you last uncontrollably drunk?
Not since I was young. I drink occasionally now but I don't enjoy getting drunk. It doesn't take me much now because I gave up for quite a while and lost all my tolerance. One glass now and I really feel it.

Is there a particular drink you can never bear to look at again?
Oh God, yeah, Jack Daniel's. I drank a whole bottle one night and I was ill beyond ill. If someone even shows me the label I want to throw up.

There goes the Jack Daniel's sponsorship and co-promotion then.
Seriously. I can't even talk about it. I was so fucking sick.

If we went to the cashpoint now would your current account have a running total?
Probably, yeah, just clocking up millions a day. I don't know exactly how much is in there. As if I'd tell you. I think it's about 15 billion pounds.

How posh are you? Prince William posh or Victoria Beckham posh?
I'm not sure how posh Victoria Beckham is but I'm certainly not as posh as Prince William. I come from a fairly middle class, bit bohemian background. I've always seen myself as a normal North London girl.

Have you ever altered your accent to fit in?
We never really had posh friends so not really. I've always thought me and Rollo had North London accents - that generic way of speaking. I changed my accent to Australian once when I was a waitress and got bored. One customer asked me if I was from Tasmania so it mustn't have been very good.

You played recorder in a recorder orchestra as a child, could you give us a recorder rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody now?
Maybe. But I only play it if I'm drunk and I want to impress my mates. It's like, Look what else I can do! I'm not so good now but I used to be able to play anything on the recorder. I mean, anything. It was very strange, I was absolutely devoted to the recorder. Someone sent me one the other day and I was playing it in the car and realised how shit I'd become at it.

What does Eminem smell like?
[Laughs] Very clean. He's a lovely, clean boy.

Do you think he's gay?
[Laughs loudly] No! That's fantastic! He's just not gay. He's absolutely not gay. That's truly ridiculous. [Thinks for a moment] Well, maybe he is gay... but I can't see it. He's fully heterosexual.

You say that with a little too much conviction, madam.
We had a sweet thing going on but it wasn't like that. We got on very well from the moment we met. It was like a brother and sister feeling from the moment we met. I think he should do a sort of modern musical, a rap version of My Fair Lady. He could call it My Fair Motherfucka.

Did you think he was black when you first heard him?
No, but I think I'd seen a picture of him. I remember when I first heard him I immediately rang Rollo and started going, You've got to hear this guy Eminem, he's just amazing! Rollo's like, Who's M&Ms? It came at a time when the radio had got so bland and rap had become so smug and unpleasantly violent.

When you were with Eminem did you ever see him writing?
I saw him free-styling a lot which is just amazing. What shocked me about him is just how seriously he takes it and how devoted he is. He is mortified if he fucks a line up. When we did Saturday Night Live he got one word wrong and he was completely gutted and I thought, Wow, this is his mission. He's not just having a laugh and travelling around with chainsaws. His editing and sense of economy is fucking brilliant. If you think about something like Stan, he's got someone's whole life into that in six minutes.

Did you introduce him to your mum and dad?
No, but it would have been priceless because my Mum's such a massive fan. "Halloooo, Eminem!" Imagine it. But he met all my mates and he was so sweet to them all.

Howard Stern is a big fan of yours and was instrumental in breaking you in the States. What is he like in person?
Strangely enough, he's really shy. He's brought his daughters to meet me and was incredibly kind and gentle. Even on his radio show I thought he was going to suddenly turn around and savage me but he was worryingly pleasant. Before I went on they had this woman vomit on a man who got turned on by women vomiting on him. So he'd had this bloke doing his thing while she threw up on him and then it was me. And Howard was just unbelievably nice.

Your mum's a poet, can you recite any of her work?
I can but I'm not going to. How badly would I get told off? Very.

As a schoolgirl did you fancy Sting?
Oh yeah, he was absolutely gorgeous when he was in The Police. Not so much now. I appreciate that he's good looking now and anyway he's married to Trudie and I go off people when they get married. And that tantric sex thing puts me off a bit. I'd be like, Hello? Ever heard of sleep? I'd love to have a life where I could just have sex for seven hours a day and wouldn't start getting stressed about doing the washing up but I'm just not made like that.

How do you feel about becoming 30?
I always said that I'd have to make my first million before I was 30. So...done that. Actually I haven't made it yet but I reckon I'll get my hands on it before my birthday.

Your birthday is on Christmas Day: what else do you have in common with Jesus?
Nice hair.

What question would you ask God?
Why he invented religion when it leads to so many wars.

How many styles of dancing do you have at your disposal?
I have a very distinctive style of dancing. It's awful. I can't dance unless I'm at a club and then I'm just all over the place. I have absolutely no rhythm which is funny because my music is very precise rhythmically, but I cannot dance. I've actually been thinking about having lessons so I can just dance in time. I'd love to be a cool dancer. What I'd love to do is to be dancing really badly and then just for two minutes get down and break dance brilliantly and then go back to dancing like an idiot again.

What song is in your head at the moment?
Oh fucking hell, it's that dreadful S Club 7 one. "Dont stop..."

Even [sic] seen a ghost?
I'm not sure but my mum used to always say, if you see one by nice to them. But then she said the same thing about burglars - make them a cup of tea and keep them there until I get home - so I'm not sure she was giving expert advice there.

The press have made a big deal out of your growing up without a television in the house.
I know. It was only a TV. I still don't watch it that much now. It didn't change my life at all - when my friends started talking about TV I'd keep quiet and listen. And I used to cycle around to my friend's house and watch Dallas every Wednesday so I kept up with the important stuff. I don't know why my Mum didn't want a TV in the house because she was fine if we watched TV at our mate's places.

Which books rocked your childhood world?
All the Evelyn Waugh books. The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe. The Hobbit. Some fantastic books.

What have been the most imaginative variations on your name?
They've never been that imaginative: Fido, Dildo. All the obvious ones.

If you weren't engaged - Robbie Williams: would you?
He's really cute and that but he's too famous for my liking. I don't think I'd shag someone famous. He's very good looking though and he totally appeals to me but he's a celebrity. Perhaps I'd have shagged him in the earlier days before he was famous, although he was probably at school then.

Have you lied at any point during this interview?
No, I've been remarkably honest. Almost regrettably so.

"I've had a yoga accident", Dido moans the following lunchtime. "I can't move my neck at all and I'm in agony. I've taken a lot of painkillers so I keep giggling in all the wrong places."

Between misplaced giggles and chiropractic groans, she happily relates that her mum's birthday dinner went extremely well: the Everything But The Girl album was a major success although she already had The Beatles one.

It may be the drugs, but at one point she wonders aloud if she should be seeing lists of amateur porn sites every time she hits the "history" button on her computer. "It's Bob, isn't it?" she asks, thereby incriminating her legally-qualified fiancй. "I say to him, Bob why do you want to look at that shit? But he insists it's his mates who look at them when they come round. Yeah, right."

While fully sharing her pain, I naturally take advantage of the appalling situation and ask English Swearing Girl, amongst other things, what she regards as the greatest profanity of them all?

"I think it's got to be the 'c' one, hasn't it?" she says, shocked at her own inability to say the word. "I don't object to people using it but if someone called me that I have to assume they really hate me. I remember being really angry with Rollo when I was about eight, and there was no point in trying to fight him because he could beat me up easily, but my only way of expressing my anger was to stand at the end of his bed swearing. So I'd be going, Fuck, shit, bugger...then one day I shouted CUNT! He just killed himself laughing but I was like, Oh my God, I've said it now."

"And she's been calling me a cunt every day since then," chuckles brother Rollo when reminded of the incident later that afternoon. "Actually that's not true: for a brother and sister we get on sickeningly well."

As older sibling, producer and songwriting partner, Rollo has a unique take on Dido. Holed up in a North London recording studio, he is preparing the groundwork and laying the songwriting foundations for the follow-up to No Angel.

"The writing is actually more organic than Dido makes out," he says, comfortably surrounded by the baffling paraphernalia of modern music making. "She likes to say that I write all the nasty lyrics and she writes all the sweet ones but there's actually a lot more cross-over than that. We edit and change each other's words throughout the writing. Like there's a line in Honestly OK - 'I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore' - that you would assume I wrote if you follow my sister's logic, but that was actually one of hers."

"I did write all the really sweet songs," Dido says in direct contradiction. "It was Rollo that wrote the lyrics to Hunter, Don't Think Of Me, My Life, the nasty end bit of All You Want - I'd written the first nice part. He'd just split up with his girlfriend so he had all that bile in him that he wanted to get out. It was him. It wasn't me, sir."

"The beauty of the lyrics is that they're real," Rollo concludes diplomatically. "And if there are any clichйs then at least they're heartfelt. That's what people identify with. They're real feelings."

Where do the siblings stand on the issue of No Angel being a chick's album?

"Rollo always passes it off as a chick's album," laughs Dido. "But when I do shows there's actually more guys there than women which I find strange in an encouraging way. I think men like the sound, the production, so it's not like going to one of those female singer-songwriter concerts where the audience is 90 per cent women. I think the lyrics that Rollo wrote have struck a chord with a lot of guys. I don't think guys are as shallow as marketing men assume they are. Men split up with people too."

"It's categorically not a chick's album," Rollo concurs in something of a volte-face. "In fact, the majority of my friends who like the album are men. I can't think why my sister would say that I think that."

There is an industry story, possibly apocryphal, that casts Dido is a less than flattering light. After being presented with her British sales figures and confidently informed that, percentage-wise, they promised to outstrip the album's astonishing American performance, instead of smugly reclining on her quadruple platinum laurels, Dido promptly got on the phone to her US record company and told them, in typically unperfumed style, to get their act together. Which begs the question: can Dido be a bitch?

"Not necessarily a bitch," she responds coolly. "But I say what I think. I remember the first time I sacked someone it was pretty horrible but I'd prefer to sack them myself than have a manger do it. If someone isn't doing a good enough job I don't want them around. It's a business not a charity organisation."

Asked if Dido can be diva-ish, Rollo manfully leaps to her defence. "Only in that she is so busy that she has to be able to make decisions quickly," he says. "I think she's dealing with her success with a great deal of dignity. Selling that many albums can give you the right to start behaving like a real diva, but thankfully Dido hasn't gone down the arsehole route."

"I shouldn't tell you this," Dido blurts blushingly. "But I get them to measure the length of the pool in every single hotel I'm arriving in. I have to be able to relax so I get the measurements sent before I get there. I've even got Rollo doing it now because we're going on holiday together. He's like, OK OK, I'll get the pool measurements!"

Loyally, Rollo attempts to justify Dido's Lopez-like demands.

"If Dido can't unwind then there's no point in her going on holiday," he reasons. "So if the pool is so small she can't swim properly in it then we'll try and find a place with a bigger pool. If they've only got a kiddies' pool then she's going to get pissed off and that is just counter-productive for everyone concerned."

Rollo talks about Dido with a touching flush of big brotherly affection and the confident glow of a professional partnership on a roll. The second album, he says, is right on course. There may be subtle changes to the sound but the fundamental principals of strong songs and resonant sentiments will remain.

"Dido's always had great taste," he enthuses. "Especially in producers. As far back as I can remember she was a very cool and self-possessed person. She was the one digging out my Clash albums when she was a kid. She was the one that got straight onto the Eminem album the second it came out. She'll be the first one to say, Can we make it sound a bit like that old Gregory Isaacs tune? Or, Can we try and get that sound U2 got on their album?"

Before returning to his curious universe of knobs and wires, Rollo reflects on his little sister's success and can't resist a moment of unbridled pride.

"This level of achievement really becomes her," he grins. "In a funny way, Dido was born to do this."

"Fuck off," laughs Dido.